A Thief in the Night

A man I once called brother was recently killed. Armed men kicked open the door and gunned him down. I say that I once called him brother because while we were definitely related, it had been quite some time since we had practiced anything that might be deemed a relationship. This almost complete absence of a relationship left me wanting with respect to the appropriate emotion for the death of a brother. Our father and grandmother are both quite saddened, but the most I can seem to muster is regret and…well, awe.

I regret that we did not have a better relationship. I regret that I did nothing to improve/develop our relationship. I regret that our society has degraded morality and human life to such extent that gunning a man down in criminal pursuits warrants little more than trivial consideration. I especially regret that he is dead.

I am awed that something as vibrant and inspiring as life can end so suddenly and pointlessly. I am awed by the fact that there is only one standard and one Judge to whom we must all answer. I am awed by the fact that my brother’s sins are no greater than mine and his forgiveness no less. I am especially awed by the will of God; He raises one up and casts another down according to His glory.

If his life did not serve You, Lord, then let his death. Have mercy on his soul, please forgive him his sins, and let Your justice reign.

I most remember his smile.

He was 38.