Virginia Tech

After the shooting at VT, we went to Bible study at our little church, and a young man joined us as we began to get into the Word. As the pastor went through the Word, the young man rocked and prayed, seemingly oblivious to the pastor’s words. His lips moved as he prayed, pausing only to kiss the beaded cross that hung at his neck. Then, his growing agitation couldn’t be contained any longer and he stood up and began perusing the reading material on the table near the door before finally interrupting the study.

He read to us from a label peeled from a sports drink. He seemed to think the label contained possibly some enlightenment and a definite humor which he laughed at; we didn’t. He went on to later indicate that he was spreading the word “the right way,” and he didn’t even need his Bible to do it. When our pastor asked him if he would like us to pray for him, he said yes, and after we prayed, he thanked us and left.

As I indicated in previous posts, I grew up in the city. I make it a point to analyze potentially dangerous situations and plan for the worst. I sized the young man up from the moment he came through the door, and I never took my eyes off his hands. I took into account his size, the distance between us, the obstacles between us, his potential awareness of my presence, and all manner of attack and defense scenarios. I set and prioritized my goals, identified potential weapons and strategies, and even shifted my weight and positioned my feet for efficient and expeditious response.

I was so ashamed, but I couldn’t stop myself. I missed almost the entire study, because I was so focused on the “intruder.” As I chastised my complete lack of…grace or love…I caught one point in the study: our effort is not requisite for the fulfillment of the will of God. I watched the unstable young man diligently as I wrestled with God’s will versus my desire. I desired for my family and I to live through the study (if this guy intended to do harm). Was that God’s will? Had I bothered to inquire of God about it? Then came the time to pray for our guest...

That’s when it hit me the hardest. I am supposed to put God’s will ahead of my own, even at my own physical peril. Nothing I could do, no amount of planning or effort, could take from or add to the will of the almighty God. So, I closed my eyes and asked for God’s forgiveness and prayed for that young man’s soul while trusting God with mine, according to His perfect and divine will.

Amen.